Why not?

As I watched him take his latest joyful victory lap the other day leading a gaggle of hand-picked City Hall toadies---along with, of course, the trusted Democratic Congressman Alan Lowenthal---around the Long Beach Convention Center facilities that are now housing a few hundred undocumented migrant children, I watched with admiration how smoothly the well-manipulated scene unfolded.

Naturally, the media turnout was restricted to a mere two pool reporters and a photographer from the Southern California News Group (that includes the Press Telegram and the Gazette) and, shockingly, afterwards Mr. Garcia wasn't exactly under journalistic siege at his press conference that flowed, oh, so seamlessly.

He again reflected on Long Beach's cherished legacy of compassion in supporting migrants, pointing to the warm, welcoming reception this city gave to the thousands of Cambodian refugees who came here from fleeing the murderous Pol Pot regime in the 1970s.

I'm not sure there is a moral equivalence in Mr. Garcia's usual disingenuous rhetoric---yes, the kids being headquartered in Long Beach are innocent political pawns that now no doubt need assistance but they aren't exactly victims of pogroms---but I must admit he cut a kind-hearted, benign figure as he dispensed his usual array of well-rehearsed, vacuous cliches totally bereft of any deep meaning or thought.

You could tell Mr. Garcia was savoring the moment because he had total control, which, alas, has been the case throughout the seven years of his mayoral incumbency.

I've often said that despite my being seldom in agreement with Mr. Garcia on local issues---especially his ghastly decision to force Long Beach's top cop, Robert Luna, last Memorial Day to have his troops stand down that ultimately resulted in more than 210 Long Beach businesses being looted, including the $2 million destruction of the elegant L'Opera---I've also often have said that the man has a peerless knack for getting done what he desires in furthering his doctrinaire agenda.

Twice he has raised city taxes, despite a lengthy history in this town of vocal opposition to such moves that inevitably have negative effects on the middle class and disadvantaged.

The Long Beach City Council, known in this column as the Nine Unworthies, bows to his every budgetary whim, as does the City Manager, Tom Modica, a man of firm conviction determined to get that big, fat $300,000 or so pension that awaits him on the horizon without causing any disruptions that might endanger his job.

And, therefore, chillingly, the police department's budget has been slashed during Mr. Garcia's term to the point a department that once had nearly 1,000 officers now is down to around 750.

And, natch, crime is up all over town, which seems implausibly mystifying to Robert Luna---he actually pointed out it was higher in the early 1990s when questioned on it!---even even though he knows his department being gutted and his being advised to have his officers take a less aggressive approach in their daily endeavors are the major reasons for it.

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But there was Robert Garcia, seemingly without a worry in the world because no one in City Hall is courageous enough to oppose him on anything, up there confidently at the Convention Center press proceedings dispensing his usual Long Beach cheerleading spiel that isn't exactly a threat to be filed away in the National Archives.

``To me, Robert Garcia has become the Teflon Don of Long Beach,'' says the famous celebrity bodyguard, Mike (The Hammer DiMarzo), a cosmopolitan gentleman of rare wit and erudition who long has been an insightful observer of local goings-on. ``Obviously, he doesn't lead a crime family as John Gotti once did. But he does lead a bunch of yokels who dutifully follow his every step like remote-controlled robots.''

And, despite his notable misfires like the vital role he played in that Great Memorial Day Pillage & Plunder debacle that cost downtown Long Beach businesses millions in lost revenue and even caused many to shutter permanently, Robert Garcia at the moment is basking brightly in the political afterglow of his city having been targeted by the federal government to be a sanctuary for around 1,000 migrant children.

Of course, there are some narrow-minded critics---shhh, let's don't recite their apostasy too loudly so Mr. Garcia won't hear it---who actually have the nerve to wonder how these kiddies managed to cross into America in the first place without being turned back by U.S. officers at the border.

Mr. Garcia is thrilled they're here since it has certainly enhanced his national stature---he was one of four witnesses chosen to participate Tuesday (April 27) in a virtual US Congressional House Subcommittee Hearing on the undocumented children controversy---and it, apparently, has enhanced the coffers of Long Beach.

Indeed, the bespoke CEO and President of the Long Beach Convention & Visitors Bureau, Mr. Steve Goodling---he favors Armani suits, Gucci loafers and Italian Houndstooth silk ties---is overwhelmed that the feds are paying a daily rental fee of $197,356 and another $113,550 for meals and bottled water. For sure, these kids won't starve or be thirsty. One wonders if they will be stuffed with $70 Ribeyes from Mastro's or Fleming's.

Mr. Goodling won't have any conventions until after their August 2nd departure date, but he is thrilled that the downtown hotels and restaurants and other places figure to be doing booming business in the next few months with the feds importing a staff of 400 to oversee these young lodging guests.

The LB City Hall figures to scoop up around $1 million for various services and it's even speculated that Kelly Colopy's beloved Health Department---famed for harassing LB restaurants and fitness centers---might cut up a million bucks for itself for I guess keeping all the businesses in town on edge about not breaking one of the thousands of restrictive and daffy Covid-19 rules it has erected.

It's estimated the total cost of turning the LB Convention Center into a makeshift hotel will be around $35 million, which will be subsidized by the American taxpayers who once again are picking up a bloated governmental tab caused, of course, by cloyingly recurring governmental incompetence that I'm sure tugs at the tender heartstrings of Robert Garcia.

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