What in tarnation was going on to draw an estimated 200 people to such a location?

Was a Concert in the Park event scheduled at such an early hour instead of its usual early evening slot?

Was a hallowed annual Naples tradition---the Pancake Breakfast---that was canceled a year ago because of The Pandemic being revived and such fabled local politicians as Mayor Robert (Ol' Blood and Guts) Garcia and the cunning Third District Councilwoman, Suzie Price, set to give inspirational speeches before releasing the hordes to once again consume such a tasty albeit fattening breakfast?

Was an outsized wedding being staged, or was it merely a gathering of the Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks, or the Independent Order of Odd Fellows or the Knights of Pythias, or even some other fraternal entity like, well, the aptly named Rascals, Rogues, and Rapscallions?

Of course, I contacted my go-to person on such vital matters, Mr. Naples Himself, Big Mike O'Toole, president-for-life of the Naples Improvement Association and Naples Gondola Getaway.

``It was a meeting of the Naples Neighborhood Watch run so spectacularly well by Katie Rowe,'' revealed Mr. O'Toole. ``That's a subsidiary of NIA with focus on crime prevention and other such matters.''

The other such matters, of course, are what has become on weekends and holidays on the canals of Naples a most daunting Sig-Alert like spectacle among paddle-boarders, electric Duffy boats and all the other usual vessels that navigate the waterways.

Indeed, when the canals are brimming with an overabundance of traffic, it reminds me of bumper cars rides at amusement parks, only instead of small cars harmlessly crashing into one another you too often now see inexperienced Duffy skippers slamming into expensive docked boats or inexperienced paddle-boarders risking injury to themselves by falling off their boards.

Blessedly, no one has been seriously hurt yet on the Naples canals, but it's inevitable someone will be if the city of Long Beach doesn't soon tightened up its control of the sudden emergence of this Duffy-paddleboard congestion that is another unfortunate development of The Pandemic.

Katie Rowe, who's become a Naples crime activist---Mr. O'Toole refers her as Naples' version of Columbo---enlisted the distinguished Police commander of the East Division, Chad Ellis, son of former LB police chief Bill Ellis, to speak at Saturday's gathering.

Long Beach East Division Police Commander Chad Ellis addressing Colonnade Park gathering in Naples last Saturday morning

Naples Crime Buster Katie Rowe (right) giving her views at Colonnade Park last Saturday morning

[Scroll down for further.]

Ironically, as he was addressing the canal congestion and the recent dramatic Naples upstick of patio thievery, a Duffy exceeding the speed limit zipped by in nearby Alamitos Bay.

This, of course, irritated Katie Rowe, who scolded the miscreants with a scream that could be heard all the way to City Hall.

``Slow down!'' she demanded.

Of course, the Duffy skipper blithely ignored her plea, with its occupants instead giving her the middle-fingered salute in response.

But Mr. Ellis, who is, ironically, a Naples resident, saw the whole incident play out in front of him, and I heard it definitely made an impact on him.

So, are City Hall leaders going to eventually intervene and bring law-and-order back to Naples and its canals, or are its homeowners going to continue having their patio furniture lifted and being sold at flea markets and on Craig's List and its canals turned into a dangerous aquatic bottleneck of constant chaos?. . .